上个星期我回学校了，出来在公司里呆了也有半个月了，只是刚来的时候的那种兴奋之情早就烟消云散了。一切都回到了平凡之中，一切都回到了从前，一切都回到了现实之中。。我再也不敢有半点幻想，我再也不敢心高气傲了，我再也不敢有过多的奢求。我只是普普通通的一个实习生。面对一个陌生的环境，我一开始显得很坦然，然而时间的流逝即将打破这种沉寂，打破这种坦然。

      我开始觉得有点陌生，我开始觉得有点不知所措，我开始变得犹犹豫豫。一切都变了，摆在我面前的不是伟大，美好的将来，而是我刚踏入这样一个陌生的环境就受到了挫折。然而人生怎能缺少挫折呢？人生怎能缺少挑战呢？人生注定不能一辈子一帆风顺。

     公司里的实习生活并不美好，人们之间似乎有一层隔膜，有一种交流的障碍，有一种隔阂。。她们之间很少交流，她们之间似乎是陌生人，尽管是同一个部门的，尽管坐在同一间办公室里，尽管她们都是女生，却如同陌路。。我觉得有些费解，我不知道该如何定位自己，我真的不知道该怎么办。。我就像一个傻瓜，傻傻地在她们之间徘徊，傻傻地面对这样的局面，傻傻的有点无所适从。并没有学校里那么团结，并没有学校里那么热闹，也并没有学校里的那种氛围那么欢快，那么默契。。

      后来才知道她们是分开做团的，难道她们之间存在竞争的关系吗？我只是猜测而已，我只是一个过路人，什么都不懂，什么都不是很了解，也没有资格去了解一切，也没有必要去了解一切。我只是希望能做回我自己，只是希望我能够扮演好自己的角色。我的心仍然在飘荡，我的心仍然没有着落，仍然没有归期。我变得越来越迷茫，我变得越来越不知所措。。我不知道如何才能做好我自己。心里并没有底。

      于是我上个星期回学校了，因为没有电脑跟电视的日子让我郁闷，我怕自己会病倒，如此一个活泼可爱的男孩子怎能忍受这种似乎带有痛楚般的寂寞。虽然晚上可以跟同学发发短信，虽然平时可以看看书，看看报纸之类的，可是压抑的心情难以克服。真的不知道是谁的错，为什么总有那种怪怪的感觉，为什么这几天总是不开心，为什么这几天总感觉丢失了什么东西。我开始变得沉默，我开始不想说话，我开始喜欢一个人孤单的感觉。

      我开始喜欢上一个人晚上在街上闲逛的感觉，我开始喜欢在寂静的街道上聆听那“唰唰”的汽车呼啸的感觉，我开始喜欢一个人站在阳台上面对着皎洁的月光发呆的感觉。。难道我真的变得如此沉闷了吗？难道这就是我对一个新的环境所作出的反应吗？难道我就这样消沉下去吗？我不知道如何是好，然而工作并没有想象中的那么烦琐。一切都是无所事事，一切都是那么虚无缥缈，一切都变得无所适从。我到底应该属于哪里？

      现在的心情还是没有好起来，就让时间来冲淡这一切吧，我不敢在想下去，只能是像一片被风吹落的树叶，漫无目的地飘荡着。。

       人生短短数十载,却难觅一知己，年轻气盛，总是意气风发.Well,that is youngester,I'm young,lol,that's the biggest capital of myself..I'm young,so I'm active; I'm young,so,I'm blooming; I'm young,so,I'm proud of myself...Haha,I do not know how to describe my feeling now..

       Am I impulsive?Well,that issue is passed for 2 days..But I still clearly remember it..It was last Friday night,when I came back from my office,it was already late at night,for about 8 o'clock..Then,I lay down my bed,and sent a shot message to one of my friend,and told her that I was back..She replyed to me that she is on line..So,I went out to find an internet cafe to accompany with her..I have to admit that at that moment,I was very tired..You know,it was already 7 when I off duty..I took a bus to my apartment and then had dinner in a restaurant near by..

      I rushed out on the second when I heard she is on line..I asked some people whether I can find an internet cafe..Finally,I got one..I was so excited at that time,hehe,very happy..Big smile present on my face,Yes,she is here,I got her..That's great,I sent her a message and talked..But she didn't know I get on line now is totally for her...In order to accompany with her.But the outcome is absolutely out of my imagination..

      She told me that she loves a man who is already 32 years old,he owns doctor's degree,and he is Australian..I was shocked,like a leaf under the wind,trembled severely..I even can't believe my eyes that the words typed on the screen..she is only 19,how could she love a man who is 32? Although he received doctor's degree..Does she like his talent? Does she like his sweet face? Does she like his man's feeling? Oh,I'm not quite sure,but the fact is that she told me she loves him..The news is like lightning that hit my head...I nearly got collapsed..I really can't believe the truth..

      Because some days before,we are talking so happy,we were kindred spirits...Haha,I'm so serious,does it mean that I fall in love with her? Oh,I don't know..I swear I just like her at present...We are net friends..We are just talking..I told her my secrets,and so she did..It's very common that while I was hearing the news,I can't accept it..But now,I''m OK,I don't care who she loved..We are still friends,we are still good friends..

      Today,she told me something happened in her family,that is a miserable experience..I know how hard her life is,I know how difficult she is to face a lot of things,I know how painful her past is..I was astonished,Can you imagine how surprizing I am? Can you imagine how much sorry I have to say to her? Can you imagine how regretful I feel while reminding the bitter past..

She is really tough,no other girls can compare with her..I promise that she is the strongest girl I have never met...I like her,I cherish her,and further more,I respect her very much..

       If I were her,I must be a timid girl,crying everyday,and can do nothing helpful...She really sets a good example to me..Hehe,I should think on her side,and consider carefully...That is true,I can't be so selfish..I should not neglect her feeling..I should not always think in my way..I should trust her..Be more objective~Lol~I think one word is really suitable for us,that is Lan Yan Zhi Ji...haha,I only know Chinese Pinyin...But I don't know how to express in English..Lol~

      It's not easy for us people meet the one that have the same tastes,have the same understanding of issues,have the same reflection of feelings..It's my pleasure to meet her,sometimes,we chat in English; sometimes,we chat in Chinese; sometimes,we talked about poem; and sometimes,we exchange information in different ways...haha,that's really amzing..I like it..So touching...So gentle..So warm...Life is so,so......so beautiful....

      But now,I still support her,her decision to love a foreigner,although I do not feel good at that time..hahaha,Well,I get over of it now...I learnt how to think for a person,I learnt how to understand a person's decision...This is from my deep soul,I don't care,I'm thinking over of it now~~

      Liuqing,Let's shake our hands,let's hold our hands,let's work together,let's enjoy our life..Lol...good luck to you~

      Yesterday is my first day on duty,I was very excited..Lol~For it is my first time going to work..You know,I'm a student all the time,I have never tried to enter into the workforce..hahaha,I'm not lazy,but I have my own plan for my college life..I think a person's energy is limited,sometimes,you can not do two things at one time..

      For example,last year,one of my friends signed up both CET-4 and guide's certificate,but he passed either of them..Although he endeavour to work hard and try his best to learn more..But he should realize his own ability..You know,he is a good student,and always done well in his exams..My teachers appreciate him very much,and we are both envy him..Wow~What a brilliant boy he is..He is good at studying,good at communicating with others..yeah,he sets a good example for us..We should learn from him..Hahaha,he looks like a hero...

     But unfortunately,he failed..Sigh,never mind,it is just an example that quoted by me..,hehe,he has passed them already..Don't worry about him,fail in the exam doesn't mean you are a loser,you can stand up at where you failed..He is this kind of people,with firm perserverance..Not easy to be knocked out..

       There is no doubt that I would like to learn from him...Yeah,today is my first time to prove myself,to testify that I'm a smart boy..hehe,it's true..Do not laugh at me..Life is the fountain of wisdom that can make me full of inspiration..Sensible thoughts like the water that come out from the pipe..hahaha,so,I should cherish this opportunity,and work diligently,perform well..Let them know I'm a competent boy that is fit for the job..

       But beyond my imagination,the work is not so hard as I though..Very easy for me,just open my manager's MSN,and find out whether there are E-mails come from our clients,then,I should ask our assistance to help me how to deal with it..That's my job,really,really easy for me..Lol~~I'm not exaggerated,this is the job,this is the office work,this is just to receive information on line and reply to them,this is just receive calls and ask for help...Hahaha,now,I'm sitting here,and be a worker at all..Do you envy me? hehe,but I need to learn more knowledge,learn more things of tourism management,about how to be a good tourist guide,how to be a good member in our department...Wow,seems I should start learn from ABC...

        Of course,it is not boring for me..I like it,for I'm new here,and I don't know each procedure of every program..And this morning,I was really feel excited and nervous..For this is my first time,so I was so exciting..And also for it is my first time,so I was a little nervous..I don't know what the next step is,the only thing I can do is just go ahead..Be brave,be strong,be confident...Go~~~~~~My next step is bright......Although sometimes,full of poignant pieces..Certainly,at the same time,we can not neglect the laughs we experienced...The wonderful time,the fantastic moments..Will last for ever~~

        This is my first day on duty,my first time to get experience from a real job,my first time sitting in the office and using my computer...That's enough,my fellow workers are with their tremendous experiences and good energy..I will be infected by their passion which is a constant source of inspiration for my diary,hahaha...I'm just jokking..

        Liuqing,I sent you a short massage last night,I know you were busy these days..Don't worry,I do not want to disturb you..I just want to say hello to you,and ask whether you are good..I'm deeply greatful for the caring hands and heartfelt intentions that have touched my life...Sometimes,while talking with you,you privide me the fertile creative environment that help me to refine the original idea..Without you,it would be a literal story..

       And now,here,in my space,is full of joy..you give me the consistent optimism and your ongoing belief that dreams can and do become reality...Thank you for your sharing..hehe...I'm fine here,everything goes well...

       Finally,I hope you will do well this week,enjoy your studying,enjoy your life..hehe~

       I haven't written diary for several days,hehe,a little busy..For I went to Hangzhou for three days to find an apartment,Yes,it is my first personal apartment..But the fact is that it is really hard for me to find an apartment near The West Lake,because this region is one of the most expensive place in Hangzhou..So,how can I rent an apartment so easy?
       Everyday from Thirsday to Sunday,I took a bus to Hangzhou in the morning,and took back at night..It was really exhausted these days,when I got back to my dormitory,I nearly collapsed into my chair..Then,the only thing I want to do is to close my eyes,and go into my sweet dream..
      Hahaha,I was not exaggerated..Everyday during the morning,I got up,then open my computer,searching for the apartments on line..600 yuan,Oh,too dear,350 yuan,yes,suitable for me..The price is OK,but I should make sure whether there is a bus that is fit for my living place..
Hehe,I should be more sensitive and cautious..I need to find out the house owner,I need to make sure that he is a good man..Or I will be cheated..yeah,it's a little dangerous for a college student live alone in a strange place..Actually,I don't care,but I have to be careful..
      On Thirsday,I went to The North Bus Station..Yes,it is far away from my work place which is on the east bank of The West Lake..It takes me for about one hour to get there..hehe,I'm not idle,but diligent..So,I don't care too much about the distance,although I have to get up early in the morning..haha,of course,I can sleep more earlier..
      There are some sentences that describe the migrant worker:"Get up earlier than the cock,
eat worse than the pig,work harder than the cow".Oh,dear,that is not my life,I hope life can be more easier,with some colorful scene into it..Hehe,I'm just dreaming for it..But the realiy is just the opposite,I have to find an apartment..I have no choice,because I'm working in Hangzhou..As a responsible member in our department,I can't be late,I can't lose heart,I can't make error..I have to do my task as better as possible..

       I know I'm not a genius,I'm not a talent..I'm just a normal boy who is a junior college student..I need to be responsible,I need to study hard,I need to soak up knowledge through every opportunity...Hahaha,I'm not making a joke,I'm so serious..And you know,I was always serious while treating with my assignment,treating with my job..
       Therefore,God bless the young boy,hehe,I finally find an apartment..It is not very big,but around 10 square metres..yeah,it's enough for me..I was sufficient for my private space..It costs me 400 yuan a month..Yes,I think it's economic for me..

       Liuqing,I know you were down these days,and I know the reason is that there are some boring things happened in your family..Do not be disturbed,do not be bothered by such affairs..

I believe you can get rid of it as soon as possible..You are a brave girl..Full of knowledge,and you are sensible and rational..It is a piece of cake for you..Don't worry,time can solve everything.

        Hehe,are you better now? I always stand on your side,and support you..I know life is hard for both you and me..But we have to insist..We have to persist...Let's hold up our hands..You told me that you will go to another school for studying for about a week..Yes,go on,go ahead,continue to pursue your dream..Never lose your heart..You are a brilliant girl..Please trust yourself,be more confident..

        It is very normal that you have to face a lot of difficulities on your way to success.Hehe,

go,just do it..Never look back..

        I think I will stick to my career,and it is also my dream,that is to be a happy boy...It is my view of life,too much money is not a target for me..It is useless,I'm not that kind of person..I just want to be happy..hehe,Everyday when I wash my face,I always face to the mirror and told myself to keep smiling..Then I will be optimistic,will be full of courage..

       Hahaha,you can do it too,it works all the time..Just take a deep breath and think about it..Sometimes faith is more than activity..Wow,sames miraculous..Yeah,please have a try,be brave,and trust yourself..

       Before I start my article,I would like to say thank you to those who care about me,to those guys who are genuine to me...Boys and girls,thank you very much..

       Actually,I failed in this exam,I know this is a bad news for me,and for those who care about me..OK,it is really negative,but luckily,I do not feel depressed about it..I don't know why this time,While I'm facing to such a bad news,I do not feel serious,I just take a gentle smile,and said:"I will come here the next time"..I don't know what did the judges feel at that time,hahaha,I'm such a naughty boy..

       When we entered into the exam site,there are about 1000 person..Most of us are university students..Splendid~Of course,I have never seen so many people waitting in a room for taking an exam..But I think I had a bad fate that day,when it's to my turn,it is very late,nearly half past four in the afternoon..

       Each time,every 20 person enter into the class to take exam..But my number is a little back,so,that's why I'm so late...I was very very nervious during waitting...I told my fellow that "waiting is the most miserable thing in the world"...While I was waitting,I did nothing,my brain is blank at all..This is my first time to come to Shanghai,and my first time take this exam...I know the exam is hard,it can really reflect a person's English level,therefore,I do not feel discouraged..I'm a good student,I always done well in my exam,I always try my best to fullfill my dream,and this time,I did it as before,I prepared it very seriously,very diligent,and also very hard..My vacation ruined..But I feel happy this time,I do not care about the result this time,I really cherish the process,I really value it..

       No doubtly,through this exam,I leart a lot,I made a rapid progress,and I gained a lot..haha,

do not feel disappointed to me,Liuqing,I care about your feeling...I know you are a girl of understanding..hehe...The fact is that you have already done it..Thank you..If you are rational enough,you should think about things from others' position..Try to be objective..Yeah...it is very important..

       Well,everything is passed,I do not think about it anymore,I just put it into my diary..Hide it...Lol~

       The day after I finished the exam,I went to the most famous place in Shanghai,that is Nanjing road,Waitan and so on..It is a luxurious place for rich people,but not fit for me..We are poor students,hahaha..I don't care,just walk along the street,and nobody know who we are ,and where we are from..Along the Nanjing Road,the only thing I bought is a box of Chocolate,that is a present,hahaha,for a friend's birthday gift..I hope she likes it..

       But under the luxurious appearance,there are someting dark..Yes,I'm sure about it,my classmates' workplace is really bad,they own low pay,do hard job..Miserable~~shit to the capitalists..Well,I have no weapon,only with a fist..How can I struggle with the society..Yes,you are right,this is the real word..it is a world that is for rich people..Money nearly can do everything...Businessmen like money,governors like power and money,even teachers are searching for opportunities to make money...What a society it is ,obviously,"DARK!!!!!"

       I hate the real world,but unfortunately,you are on the earth...What shall I do to get rid of the real world? Nonsense,no way...The only thing you can do is just get into the world and be powerful...

       OK,I have no idea about it..I'm only a student,an ordinary person..hahaha,laughing...laugh out loudly..But there is still a question that puzzled me:"society,am I ready for you?"~